Tag: writing

Asked And Answered

@ponponponpanda : 2, 5, 7, 10, 13, 17, 19, 30, 34, 40, 48, 50-54 (U///U) Hope this isn’t too much, I’ll be glad even if you don’t answer every single one. Take your time, and thanks for taking up my ask request DarkCrystal!

Anon additions: 20, 21, 22, 25

My answers under the cut…

2: My favorite part of writing is being immersed in a world so different from my own.

5 + 7: Jacqueline Carey (Kushiel Series) changed my life with her consensual S&M. Phedre fully accepts her kink and sexuality in a way that inspired my own personal sexual revolution.

Charles de Lint (anything he writes) his urban fantasy sparks my imagination. His fae storytelling is magnificent.

Paulo Coehlo (anything he writes) reconnects me to my spiritual self and inspires me to find my voice within my journey in this world and my connection to the other.

10: The idea of collaborating with anyone right now is depressingly laughable as I balance so many things… I’d also have no idea how to. I’m so spontaneous in my writing – even when I have a plan – that I actually think I’d be infuriating to write with. I spoil my characters and let them do as they please… sometimes lengthening a piece substantially.

13: @nihilismpastry gave me the best advice for fighting writer’s block: Go back to the reason you loved writing in the first place. For me, that’s sharing dreams.

17: Depends, but usually I write from 2am – 4am every night. Now sometimes that’s grad school, sometimes it’s Dreams, sometimes it’s fic, sometimes it’s professional for my job… so… yeah. I write about a page an hour (I’m in a constant state of edit and re-editing. Doing it all on my phone doesn’t hel my speed either).

19 + 20: Sans dreams of darkness. Cries of children echo against cave walls. His father’s laughter follows shortly after. The smell of blood taints the air and stains his bones…

He wakes up with a jolt. The morning sun peeks through the curtains, but it doesn’t compare to your glowing warmth. Memories of last night help fight off the barbaric images still clinging to his waking mind.

He looks at your bare back and the need to feel joy again overtakes him.

21: His brother… bacon… breakfast… mafia… the party last night. You are starving, but you still have so many questions. So many concerns.

22: Best answer I can give: I write and then sleep. I come back to it and if I make a lot of edits, after I’m done I leave it again. I come back to it and repeat until I read it with enjoyment that has me forgetting to make edits. That’s when I know I’m done.

25: Linear for me… usually. I jump between character perspectives so I find linear is the stable element. However, the beginning is always the middle for me. I will have PAGES no one ever sees of what happened in the past… and PAGES of what will happen in the future beyond my own writing.

30: Favorite line I’ve ever written? Whichever one made you cum. Bringing that type of satisfaction is what I live for. Even if I never see it, knowing something I wrote helped you smile, exhausted and staring dreamily into the night of your bedroom – yeah, whatever I wrote right before you hit that point… that’s my favorite.

34: It’s all on my mobile. I have saved drafts on Tumblr and Wattpad. I used to write in notebooks, but those thoughts never left the page. If I type my ideas on the ones I mentioned, I’m more likely to share them. I’m writing this on Tumblr draft right now…

40: Original Fiction or Fanfiction….

48: Teratophila – erotica… I love writing about sex and monsters bring in so many fun sensations and scenarios.

50 + 51: Ok, I once had this idea to make a fic called Gaster’s School of Sexcraft and Kinkamory. It was going to be a tale of reader learning how to seduce monsters as a spy for the royal family… Professor Grillby would teach BDSM, Professor Muffet would teach Shibari. Headmaster Gaster would run drills on non-consensual survival… Care of Magical Creatures with Papyrus was going to take on a whole new meaning… And Sans was actually going to be the Caretaker, who you would encounter multiple times in broom closets and the like…

Anyway, it never got off the ground in my mind. Instead, Lesson on Female Anatomy and Breeding was created lol.

52 + 53: Writing has given me an outlet to express my kinks. I feel so alive in the Undertail and Teratophilic worlds. I can explore thoughts without shame and… that has made all the difference.

54: Write what you wish was out there to read. Write what you’ll honestly enjoy, because you may be the only one reading it. If you’re happy with it, that’s all that matters.

Seriously, it’s like a relationship. If you can’t please yourself, you’re going to have a hard time pleasing everyone else.

nihilismpastry:

darkcrystaldemon said: Pages… you know I researched every type of vine plant and their sunlight needs for Toritale? And for what – a few adjectives about what scented soap she would use and maybe drop a few descriptors for food. 😞

Pastry: … You could have the plants fuck people? Even more uses? 

LMAO! Maybe in a different story.

(Just a disclaimer; I don’t know if I’ll make any sense in this ask.) Even though it’s smut, and I enjoy your writing because it’s arousing, but it’s also very… warm. Intimate even. Your stories are a part of you, and it shows. You’re letting us in through your writing, and it feels cozy. Even the angsty ones have a familiar feel to them. Like cuddling with an old friend. (Albeit the angsty ones are friends you wish wouldn’t be so dark.)

(That made perfect sense, and thank you.)

I know people tell me sex is just sex… I’ve just never found that to be true for me. Even one night stands, for me, are incredibly intimate moments that I’ll never forget (though there is one I wish I could forget due to its shear awkwardness and… well… he was a mistake lol).

Hell, even the time I almost got raped… I fucking loved and respected that guy. (I had to put him in his place, and thank god I know martial arts and grappling moves to get someone off from on top of you… and no I’m not a badass… you don’t come out of situations like that without the shakes, trust issues, and a lot of crying.) My soul hurt that day…

And that’s the truth – my soul is involved in every sexual encounter good or bad. Every touch that ignites feelings… that’s an unspeakable bond. I have a list of every person I’ve ever kissed. I never wanted to forget their names or how we met or how we came to become intimate. And as I think of those, my mind jumps to the league of others who I’ve flirted with, touched intimately – even for the barest of moments, a gentle caress on the arm, a hug that holds for longer than it should, the unnecessary lean in just to be closer… I thrive off those moments. I loved so many in so many different ways. Sometimes we never touched at all, and our intimacy lies only in our conversation. I had a professor like that. We’d spent an enormous amount of her office hours talking – a desk always between us – but I took three of her classes while at university just so I could keep being around her incredible, insightful mind.

So I bring that to my writing. Sex is never just sex. Attraction is felt deeper than neurons and stimuli. And life is too complex to only ever be one shade of light or darkness.

… but then I’ve always been told I’m a sentimental fool, a hopeless romantic, and an over thinker… still, I’m glad it makes stories people enjoy. I really enjoy making them and reliving old memories or present dreams.

Will you write your breeding stories differently now that you’ve gone through the whole thing?

Hmmm… good question. The short answer is yes. The longer answer (as I do) is below:

It would depend on how far the breeding fic was going. Something like OviBlaster wouldn’t be much different. It ends right after the breeding…

But something like The Lesson series that will be getting a behind the scenes to the volunteers and the way Gaster interacts with them… that will have more real details taken from my own experiences, or those of friends that I’ve learned as I went on this journey.

Toritale in particular was delayed just for the fact that I decided it was going to go far more into pregnancy and the sweet moments between partners during that time.

I also think there’s a time and a place for some details. So that will be fun to play with. I have everything from the tear jerking sweet moments to sexy as hell to horrifying and gross lol. I think the challenge for any author is when reality is worth writing and when is it just too much. Or because you live it you forget to add some details that make it relatable and/or understandable.

Countless Hours In The Wrong Direction

Writing 101

^_^ I will spend a ridiculous amount of time writing plots that never go anywhere. I will even be proud of it. I will almost publish it… and something stops me. Mostly, I’ve fallen out of lot with the piece by the end. There’s something that doesn’t fit right and I can’t explain what it is because I haven’t figured out what’s right yet.

So I let the story sit. Sometimes it sits for weeks, even months, until at some point the story comes back in a different light. Then the piece becomes easy to write. Everything flows together, and I’m more proud than I ever thought I could be.

That pride… it’s not a sin, it’s an accomplishment. I can go back and read my stuff and enjoy it. Add to it. Love it.

What’s the point of making art if you don’t appreciate what you make? It’s a struggle to make, but you should still like it when you’re done. If you don’t…. stop. Walk away. Do other things. You just need to experience something else before this part of the story will make sense.

So go live life and come back when you can.

Your favorite fic author is probably over 30.

nihilismpastry:

askellie:

xochiquetzl:

(Yes, this is a response to a post going around how maybe it’s okay if adults are in fandom as long as they understand that fandom is for ickle kiddie-boos and walk on eggshells.  Um, no.  Back in my day, we kicked y’all off our yahoogroups so we could post adult material, and rigorously didn’t post adult material if the list allowed you.)

So, back in the day, several of the authors of an LJ community that posted NSFW fic met up and had a group photo, which they posted.  Apparently, some of the 18 year olds said, “Ewwwwwww!  They’re all, like, oooooollllld!” 

There’s actually a good reason for that. 

Writing is part being good with words and part being good at turning your life experiences into something that other people want to read.  Remember my previous rant about how you can’t assume a mystery writer is a homicidal maniac, and you can’t assume that a reader who likes a character has the same personal flaws as that character?  There’s a reason people assume these things about authors. 

See, if you’ve never fallen in love, you might think romance is when the other person brings you a dozen roses and a box of chocolates.  And that’s fine!  That’s romantic, too!  But if you have fallen in love, you might remember the time that you woke up and went to go to class and found a bunch of wildflowers and a plastic ring from a bubblegum machine tucked under your windshield wiper.  And you might remember the half touched, half about to burst out laughing expression on your sweetie’s face when you showed up to class wearing that tacky plastic ring.  You might think that love is thinking the other person is the best-looking person in the world, or that love is wanting to spend your life with someone else.  That’s love, too! Well, at least the second one is (the first is probably just infatuation). But if you’ve been in love before you’ll know that love is also hurting all over because your sweetie’s abusive parent died and they’re unexpectedly destroyed over it.  The latter is worth a million flowery declarations. 

Now, I’m not saying that no one under 30 can write.  Some young people have had very full lives.  And some young people have a natural talent for extrapolating from their own feelings.  Virgins can write convincingly about sex, even.  But the more life experience you have, the easier it is to extrapolate, and the easier it is to come up with the specific details that make things feel real and true.  

If you want to become a better writer, the best things you can do are write a lot, share what you write, and live a full life.  And remember, before you say adults should be banished from fandom:  your favorite author is probably over 30. 

^ Ahaha, this resonates with me pretty hard because, no surprise, I’m over 30. A lot of people in my age bracket though are also people who have been in fandom since their twenties, or even their teens. We grew up with this as our hobby, so it’s also a case of practice makes perfect, particularly when it comes to the fandom-specific conventions of fanfic that make people choose it over other types of fiction.

Most of my favorite writers are all older than me, married, and sometimes talk about their kids. You become a better writer with life experience and age because it gives you the chance to actually grow your ideas, or have those ideas actually tested. 

Not saying that young people can’t write, according to ya’ll I write pretty well, but over time your writing will improve. Kinda like a fine wine, the older it gets the better its supposed to taste.,

@nihilismpastry, I can’t even imagine how your writing can get more amazing 😉

My only other add here is that I can attest that it is indeed easier to write now that I’m older (yeah 30! Lol). You just see life differently. You’ve met a LOT of people. You can see things from the “adult” perspective, so many more of your characters become more well rounded. And you’ve been to more places so you can imagine more settings than you could before. 

 So anyway, keep writing and experiencing! TRAVEL. Read. Talk to people. Hear their stories. Find your truth. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Face a fear. LIVE. No seriously, go out and live. Once I realized my favorite authors didn’t start their first legit novels until 35…40…57. I realized that living in your twenties and thirties… that’s how you get great material. Experience only comes with time. 

So I did that shit on my bucket list. I made it happen. I worked my ass off until I had enough money and I went out and did it. I asked out people who I thought were out of my league. I pushed my boundaries. I learned things I never thought I could. I fell in love and lust a hundred different ways. I got a career. I proposed to a man while my hands shook and my heart felt like it would break with the next syllable out of his mouth. I bought a house. I lost a best friend of 20 years in defense of my own happiness. I stood up for my rights. I stood up for being happy and letting myself be so. I stood up to family I never thought I would. I have no regrets and will continue to live with that goal in mind: No regrets and Pursue Happiness. Real Happiness. My Happiness. My truth. 

 So good luck, writers. To all of us. We’re always striving to be better. It’s our curse. So, don’t forget to live, okay? Find yourself. And when you start finding it, the words… they just come out ^_~

Oh my god you’re fucking pregnant? Congratulations????? I’m so happy for yoU AHHHHH!!!! I want to cry AHHH is it scary??? I’m sure it’s really cool but oH MY GOD YOU’RE PREGNANT??? Happy belated Mother’s Day DCD! *smooooooch!!* You’re gonna be such a good Mommy™️ (but not as good as me apparently huehuehuehue)

^_~ No one’s a better mommy than you. Heehee.

I’m very excited. It’s a little scary, not gonna lie. My body’s changing bit by bit. The insistent hunger, exhaustion, and nausea are… less attractive. But when I think about the fact that it all means my body is creating someone inside me… wow. It’s really cool.

My nipples are starting to get a little sensitive and I’m really interested to see how big these ladies will get eventually… I’ve always loved my body, but have never fully been able to wrap my head around pregnancy. The fact that it’s really happening… I’m jotting down notes ya’ll.

And then I also know everything changes post-partum so I’m interested in that as well. I feel a large amount of after care fics will appear for loving pregnant bodies. A lot of my fics are about enjoying and celebrating your body. And much of that comes from my own personal celebration. 😉 So expect a lot of breeding, pregnancy, lactation, mommy, daddy, etc… it’s really on my mind a lot. ^_~

I love your writing – you are just so, so talented!! I’m excited for the Gaster continuation… and I was wondering, how long have you been writing?? And I guess how old are you now (if that’s not weird)? You’re so good, I’m guessing you’ve been writing for a long time?

Aw shucks, thank you! I’m going to ramble the answers to these questions because I feel very nostalgic and sappy right now. So I apologize in advance…

I’m 30 and I didn’t actually start trying to write stories until I was in middle school. So about 12-13? Basically at the edge of the new millennium 1999-2000.

I wrote some stuff in the Harry Potter fandom on FF.N… got about 20 hits, 3 comments and all of them told me how much I suck… ^_^’ So I got off FF.N and wrote original stuff for the small audience of my close friends. I don’t even have copies of that story any more lol. But those characters stick with me and the encouragement of my friends and their love for my little sci-fi piece kept me going.

I went to college as an English/Anthropology dual-major. Minor in Asian Languages and Literature and two credits away from minors in Native American studies and Religion. I was *supposed* to have an emphasis on Creative Writing in my English major but… I’ll tell ya… wanting to write sci-fi/fantasy or, as my Creative Writing teachers would sneer “be a genre writer”, was not treated kindly. So… I took 3 Creative Writing classes instead of 8. And in their place I took classes like John Milton’s Paradise Lost, analysis of Jules Verne, Comic Book theory, Childhood and War in literature, Literature medieval to 1850, 1850 to present, Folktales, Samurai War tales, Japanese film…. I studied War for God: a comparison of the Abrahamic Religions; I went to Japan and studied Anime and Manga; I backpacked Ireland and read stories and listened to tales of people’s lives while sharing a pint… (yeah, cliche, but, you know, I met a lot of cool people in pubs, and, of course, in the hostels themselves).

I realized almost none of my favorite authors ever got accepted into Creative Writing programs… I value the CW classes I took, but studying my idols and analyzing the writing styles of different cultures was also invaluable.

Still, when I got out of college, I had no direction to where I wanted to go in writing. I had a million worlds in my head but no message… and then I realized that most of my favorite writers didn’t really get their first novel out until their 40s and 50s… they had had a life, multiple careers… so I decided to follow suit. I started living my adult life, met the man who would become my husband, gained new friends, studied more religions, and kept learning, and reading, and just loving life…. I’d journal write, blog write, and keep logs of Dreams, philosophies, and cool ideas. But still no story.

And then I found Undertale.

And I wouldn’t say it hit me immediately. I loved the game, but not any more than FFX or Persona 4 and stuff… BUT then a friend of mine fell so much in love with the game that they started a fic: Undertaken. Serious love to @anundertaleoftwosisters. I read it and was transported to the underground. Sans, Papyrus, they came alive! And I met Gaster for the first time…

29 years old, married, career and suddenly my world cracked open like the scars ripped into Gaster’s face. I wrote my first chapter in almost a decade… falling into darkness in Under Dreaming. That was Aug 15, 2016.

AO3 was a refreshing way to start (I still have writers PTSD from FF.N and also, they would never let me write the explicit stuff I want to write.) And you know, since I broke the dam and just started writing again, I haven’t gone longer than a week without writing something.

I’d be lying if I said encouragement from perfect strangers on AO3 and Tumblr didn’t help. When I got my first comment, I shook for ten minutes unable to view it. All I could remember was that first nasty comment so many years ago…

And I’m shouting out to @mttartbrand because they were that first comment on Under Dreaming 256 days ago: “Damn this fic is getting heavy ahaha
So far its been a trip up to hear, I am really intrigued and interested in it.
I would really like for this to continue on, wonder what gaster is doing and all the characters here in this verse.”

You don’t even know how much that meant to me. You singlehandedly gave me back my confidence in 3 sentences ^_^ And everyone who has ever posted after that, who then encouraged me to join Tumblr, who started following me, who leave me asks like you, lovely Anon… you’ve given me an arsenal against negativity. Criticism is constructive and only makes me a better writer.

They say writers need to have thick skin, but callouses only come after years of practice. And people can be cruel. But writing Under Dreaming was the first time that I felt like I had a real story to tell. Now, so many more have come out and they’re all based on people I’ve met, adventures I’ve had, dreams I’ve traveled.

Nothing I’ve written in the last 8 months could have been written by 20 year old me… or even 24 year old me. But I know some amazing writers that are much younger than me… much stronger than I was at their age in the face of criticism. They have stories to tell and revelations to write. And who knows where they’ll be at 30. But that’s ok. It’s like driving on the highway. Some people are ahead of you and some are behind, but it’s not a race. You’re all going to different destinations.

Tldr; age doesn’t matter so much as finding the story inside yourself and being brave enough to tell it. Kind comments mean a lot. And thank you for the ask. ^_^